Foundation Three: Commitment in Marriage
Session Overview
Marriage is more than a declaration of love; it is a covenant of lifelong commitment. This session explores how biblical marriage reflects God’s covenant faithfulness toward His people. Through God’s covenant with Abraham, His steadfast love toward Israel, and biblical teaching on marriage and divorce, couples will consider what it means to love with commitment rather than merely feelings. The goal is to help engaged couples evaluate their understanding of covenant love and prepare to pursue a marriage that reflects God’s faithful character.
Main Biblical Truth
Marriage is a lifelong covenant designed to reflect God’s faithful, sacrificial, and persevering love for His people.
Discussion Guide
Section 1: Love as Commitment, Not Merely Feelings
Scripture Reading
Ephesians 5:1–2
1 John 4:8
Biblical Teaching
Modern culture often defines love primarily as a feeling. Scripture presents a deeper picture. Love is demonstrated through commitment, sacrifice, and faithfulness. Feelings naturally fluctuate, but covenant love remains steadfast. God’s love for His people is the model for marital love. Husbands and wives are called to love one another even during seasons when affection feels weak, circumstances are difficult, or their spouse is struggling. This reflects the self-giving love of Christ.
Discussion Questions
How has our culture shaped your understanding of love and commitment?
What is the difference between loving someone because of feelings and loving someone because of covenant commitment?
How does the definition of love as “giving without concern for what one receives in return” challenge you?
Why is commitment necessary when feelings fluctuate?
In what practical ways can a spouse demonstrate covenant love during difficult seasons?
What fears do you have about making a lifelong commitment?
Practical Application
Discuss specific ways you can choose loving actions even when emotions are strained, tired, disappointed, or frustrated.
Section 2: God’s Covenant Faithfulness with Abraham
Scripture Reading
Genesis 15:7–21
Biblical Teaching
In Genesis 15, God established a covenant with Abraham. In the covenant ceremony, God alone passed through the pieces of the sacrifice, emphasizing His commitment to fulfill His promises. God’s faithfulness was not dependent upon Abraham’s perfect obedience. This covenant illustrates God’s steadfast commitment and serves as a model for marital faithfulness. While human spouses are imperfect and not divine, they are called to reflect God’s covenant-keeping character by remaining committed through failures, weaknesses, and disappointments.
Discussion Questions
What stands out to you about God’s covenant with Abraham?
Why is God’s faithfulness such a powerful model for marriage?
How does covenant commitment differ from a contractual relationship?
How should a spouse respond when the other spouse disappoints or fails?
What makes covenant love difficult to practice?
How can God’s grace help you fulfill covenant promises?
Practical Application
Share an example of a relationship where someone showed you undeserved faithfulness. How did it impact you?
Section 3: Hosea and God’s Pursuing Love
Scripture Reading
Hosea 3:1–5
Ephesians 5:22–33
Biblical Teaching
God commanded Hosea to love and pursue his unfaithful wife as a living picture of God’s love for Israel. Israel repeatedly turned away from God, yet God remained committed to His covenant. Hosea’s willingness to restore his wife demonstrates the kind of persevering love that reflects God’s heart. Marriage is intended to display God’s relationship with His people and therefore requires grace, forgiveness, and steadfast commitment.
Discussion Questions
What does Hosea’s response to his wife’s unfaithfulness reveal about God’s character?
Why is forgiveness such an important part of marriage?
How does marriage serve as a picture of Christ’s relationship with His people?
What challenges might make it difficult to extend grace to a spouse?
How can a couple prepare now for future conflicts and disappointments?
What role should repentance and reconciliation play in marriage?
Practical Application
Discuss how you currently handle conflict, hurt, and disappointment. What habits would help build a culture of grace and reconciliation in your future marriage?
Section 4: God’s View of Marriage and Divorce
Scripture Reading
Malachi 2:16
Matthew 19:3–10
1 Corinthians 7:10–11
Romans 7:1–3
Biblical Teaching
Scripture presents marriage as a sacred covenant intended to be lifelong. God hates the destruction and brokenness caused by divorce. Jesus emphasized the seriousness of the marriage covenant while acknowledging adultery as an exception regarding divorce and remarriage. Scripture also teaches that death ends the marriage covenant. The overarching emphasis is not on finding exits from marriage but on understanding the sacredness of the covenant and pursuing faithfulness. God’s design is that marriage reflects His enduring commitment to His people.
Discussion Questions
Why do you think God places such importance on the marriage covenant?
How does understanding the permanence of marriage affect your preparation for marriage?
What cultural messages about marriage and divorce concern you most?
How can couples guard their hearts against viewing divorce as an easy solution?
Why is it important to understand both God’s holiness and God’s grace when discussing divorce?
How can the church help support struggling marriages?
Practical Application
Identify trusted people, mentors, pastors, and counselors you would seek help from if your marriage entered a season of serious difficulty.
Section 5: Evaluating Your Readiness for Covenant Commitment
Scripture Reading
Genesis 2:24
Ephesians 5:1–2
Biblical Teaching
Marriage requires more than romantic affection. It requires a willingness to remain faithful through both joyful and difficult seasons. Before entering marriage, couples should honestly assess their understanding of commitment and their willingness to imitate God’s covenant love. Marriage is not primarily about personal fulfillment; it is ultimately about glorifying God through faithful love.
Discussion Questions
How has this session shaped your view of marriage?
What aspects of covenant commitment seem most challenging to you?
Are there areas where you need to grow in faithfulness, sacrifice, or perseverance?
How can you intentionally strengthen your commitment before marriage?
What strengths do you see in your relationship that support long-term faithfulness?
What potential weaknesses should be addressed before marriage?
Practical Application
Together, write a brief covenant statement beginning with:
“By God’s grace, I commit to love you faithfully through every season of life, reflecting Christ’s love for His people.”
Marriage Assignment
Complete the following individually and then discuss together:
What was most encouraging, challenging, or new to you from this session?
What spiritual disciplines will help you maintain faithfulness in marriage?
What steps would you take if your marriage faced serious difficulties?
List your fiancé’s strengths that could contribute to a healthy and enduring marriage.
List your fiancé’s weaknesses that could potentially create challenges.
List your own strengths that will benefit your future marriage.
List your own weaknesses that could hinder your future marriage.
Develop specific action steps for addressing identified weaknesses together.
Discuss who you will seek for biblical counsel and accountability when difficulties arise.
Spend time praying together about your future marriage and commitment to one another.
Prayer Focus
Pray that God would:
Deepen your understanding of covenant love.
Help you reflect His faithfulness in your future marriage.
Give you grace to love sacrificially rather than selfishly.
Prepare you to persevere through future trials.
Build a marriage that glorifies Christ and displays His love to the world.
Strengthen your commitment to remain faithful through every season of life.
Closing Prayer Prompt:
“Lord, teach us to love one another as You have loved us. Help us build a marriage founded on covenant faithfulness, sacrificial love, grace, forgiveness, and unwavering commitment for Your glory. Amen.”
Source: Gregory Brown, Building Foundations for a Godly Marriage: A Pre-Marriage, Marriage Counseling Study, Session: “Commitment in Marriage.”